With Beware Boiúna now available on VOD, we're publishing our Fantastic Fest review.
I consider myself very lucky that Fantastic Fest is my hometown film festival. I can get from my front door to the Alamo Drafthouse parking garage in nine minutes. For one week a year, some of the greatest movies and some of the greatest people are in my proverbial backyard, and I can still go home between movies and make myself lunch. All that to say, when I casually strolled up to the fest today, planning to quickly grab my badge and say hi to some friends right before the first films of the first day, I was not prepared to hold an actual snake.
But there they were right in front of the Drafthouse. Three snakes ready for a photo op (one truly enormous–I had heard rumblings that it weighed upwards of thirty pounds). Draped over your neck. Printed onto a 4×6 photo right in front of you. Sponsored by Beware Boiúna. And FANGORIA. This very publication.
And you know what I did, Dear Reader Who Really Just Wants Me To Get On With This Review? I didn’t hold the snake.
It wasn’t because of journalistic integrity (although, I mean, good job me). It wasn’t because I was running late or anything (I think I had even gotten there too early–again, nine minutes). It was because I am scared shitless of snakes. It’s something I share with Harrison Ford. I don’t like ‘em!
It’s the texture. The slithering. Something about the tongue. Anyway! That’s all to say that Beware Boiúna, as the latest in a long, hallowed line of snake movies, had a very good chance of making my skin crawl–at least a tad. And it did! With its World Premiere headlining as the Opening Night Film of this year’s Fantastic Fest, Beware Boiúna — once titled “Titan” and once subtitled “Legend of the Amazon” — was primed to pounce. Director Mike P. Nelson (whose Silent Night, Deadly Night I reviewed at last year’s festival) brought Beware Boiúna to Austin, Texas, determined to elevate reptilian horror.
Jessica Rothe (Happy Death Day, as well as the upcoming River) is a medical student, eager to make a difference on her six-week boat ride across the Amazon to help scattered Colombian villages. Kiana Madeira (the Fear Street trilogy) serves as the rusty ship’s mechanic, working below deck while simultaneously searching for her missing brother. Unfortunately, they quickly run afoul of Logan Marshall-Green (Upgrade, The Invitation)—a hulking, rugged dude who swears he and his surly crew are just licensed surveyors, not illegal profiteers. And that’s before their snake troubles really start.
For much of the film’s early runtime, the titular Boiúna is only glimpsed as a mural in a local bar or whispered about in brief warnings. In traditional South American folklore, the Boiúna is a giant, black, shape-shifting serpent; in this movie, she is real and fiercely protective of her turf. “Creatures of imagination,” one character intones, “Not imaginary creatures.” The Boiúna has had enough of people abusing her lands and waters. It is ready to restore balance to the Amazon.
After an accident, the two girls suddenly find themselves in a fight for survival on two fronts: both Marshall-Green and the Boiúna are hell-bent on pursuing the duo to their deaths.
Beware Boiúna is a very sweaty movie. Dirty, muddy, and wet, Nelson adds a visceral, much–appreciated level of grit and grime to the proceedings. Set (and filmed on location) on the Amazon River in Colombia, Boiúna is shot beautifully at times, with the daytime jungle providing a lush backdrop to the film’s gore. “The jungle is not a happy place,” a character claims early in the film, but sunlight and vibrant colors really do help elevate this movie. Even the ever-present murky green water sets it apart from other cinematic aquatic terrors; there's no crystal-blue water to see through. You’re on your own.
Both Rothe and Madeira are great as usual–empathetic, interesting, and determined to survive. Marshall-Green is always a welcome sight, balancing rugged charm with definite menace. Their small supporting cast is sympathetic enough to make you worry about their safety when the python peril finally hits.
The full extent of the CG giant snake is tastefully hidden for most of the film’s runtime, but it makes me yearn for more giant snake. Here I am, a simple man, humbly asking for some more giant snake in the giant snake movie. Of course, I understand the Jaws mentality of not showing too much too soon, but sometimes a creature feature needs a bit more creature.
Nevertheless, Beware Boiúna proved that I am totally justified in my Ophidiophobia (Google says that’s “fear of snakes”), and that I can skip visiting the Amazon for a few years. Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes!
