As you may have gathered from our recent coverage of Townfall, I'm something of a Silent Hill nerd, and have been since I was way too young to be watching my dad play the original game. Akira Yamaoka's “You’re Not Here” is my most played song across all streaming services. I dressed as Lisa Garland for Halloween one year, and a Silent Hill 3 nurse another. I was there for the Silent Hill 4 Wikipedia foreskin drama (don't ask). I'm travelling to rural Japan to see the real life Ebisugaoka from Silent Hill f later this year. I even used to run a Team Silent fanpage Tumblr, for crying out loud. 

So of course, when OKS GEAR  (the same twisted minds who bought us another incredibly messed up piece of Silent Hill 2 merch) announced the release of an officially licensed Silent Hill 2 body pillow back on April Fool's Day, I knew I had to have it.

Those who have played Silent Hill 2 (either the 2001 original or the critically acclaimed remake from 2024) will know that – SPOILERS! – a pillow is what protagonist James Sunderland used to smother his ailing wife Mary merely a few days prior to the events of the game, ultimately leading him down a delusional path of guilt and repression as his subconscious tries to reckon with what he's done. Hence why OKS GEAR described the James-adorned pillow as “a deeply questionable life choice” and “the most comfortable way to emotionally spiral”. Here's 5 things I learned from my own soft and squishy spiral.

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Disclaimer: This article is not sponsored by OKS GEAR, nor was I gifted the body pillow. I bought it with my own cold hard cash, because I'm an adult and can make my own silly decisions.

Questionable Taste Never Felt So Good

In our current media-critical culture, we often see condemnation levied at any film, game or television series that portrays its lead characters in a way that's anything less than perfectly morally pure. Unlike a series like Resident Evil, where the good and bad guys are usually very clearly defined, the very nature of Silent Hill's themes and story make it more challenging to center protagonists who are totally blameless in the narrative (that is until Bloober Team's Silent Hill 1 remake introduces Dad of the Year Harry Mason to a whole new audience).

I'm sure plenty of people might take umbrage with the fact that merch of a uxoricidal maniac not only exists, but also hunkifies him in a way not too dissimilar to Resident Evil‘s Leon Kennedy (side note: if anyone knows where I can get a Requiem Leon body pillow cover, hmu). And while I totally get where those people are coming from, I gotta tell you that this thing is so comfortable I simply can't bring myself to care. OKS GEAR weren't kidding about that 100 count cotton.

Lumbar Support Is No Joke

None of us are getting any younger, and if you're anything like me, who spends all day sitting hunched shrimp-style at a laptop, your back is probably as stiff as a Lying Figure's legs. It also doesn't help that I'm a side sleeper in dire need of a new mattress, so my left hip and lower back are constantly out of alignment. I'd heard of the benefits of body pillows for side slumberers before, but never really believed it until Mr. Sunderland arrived.

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The moment I slung my leg over James' midriff (steady now), I immediately felt a release of tension in my lumbar area, and before I knew it I had fallen into a deep, dangerous midday nap, only slightly disturbed by dreams of being smothered in my sleep.

Short King? Ain't No Thing

According to in-game models, the ‘real' James Sunderland stands at about 6 ft/182 cm tall, meaning the 5 ft/152 cm body pillow James is at quite a loss when it comes to lore-accurate height. At 5 ft 7 in/170 cm myself, I'm not exactly towering, but as a newbie to body pillow culture, I was wondering whether James might be a little too small for me to snuggle up with.

As the saying goes, however, we're all the same height lying down, wink wink nudge nudge. Once we were both tucked in tight, I realized that 5 feet of James is more than enough, especially when you're already sharing your bed with another (incredibly patient) grown man, one who actually breathes.

My Cat Would Choose A Murderer Over Me

Sure, nobody adopts a cat expecting loyalty (that's what dogs are for), but I must admit I was more than a little wounded by the speed at which my moggy Mar snuggled up to the James pillow. She's a love-from-afar type gal – only just starting to sit close to me on the couch after she's lived here for three years – and I've always respected that and given her her space.

So imagine my SHOCK, DISMAY, and SADNESS when the minute I unpacked James and unfurled him, she dropped what she was doing and sauntered over for a sniff, before purring and making biscuits on his face. All this for a man she's never met before. Who knew Sunderland was such a magnet for… yeah, sorry, not going there.

The Silent Hill Franchise Is (Finally) Back In Good Hands

Any Silent Hill fan knows all too well that it hasn't always been a bed of roses defending our favorite survival horror title. The post Team Silent games – Homecoming and Downpour especially – almost drove the series off a cliff reputation-wise,  and Konami's desecration of Silent Hills, what could've well been Hideo Kojima's horror masterpiece, will always be a sore stain on the legacy.

Aside from a couple of blips here and there (notably Christophe Gans' critically mauled Return to Silent Hill and the similarly panned interactive series Silent Hill: Ascension), the recent renaissance of Silent Hill proves that the current team understands what fans want – and that includes incredible, morally questionable merch.