REVIEWS
Every seven years, 30 of the world’s most deadly assassins take over a random city and compete for a ten million dollar prize. The rules are simple. The contestants have twenty-four hours to be the sole survivor, if not a tracking device implanted in their abdomen will detonate. Let the game begin.
Write comment (0 Comments)
TEXAS VIBRATOR MASSACRE is about the movie you'd expect from Rob Rotten, who previously directed PORN OF THE DEAD. This time we're treated to a family of redneck killers instead of zombies, with the killing taking place between uninspired hardcore sex scenes. I expected the movie to toss up some chuckles in between some softcore scenes and fall into the DVD library somewhere between PLAYMATE OF THE APES and THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK. As it turns out, I'm nowhere near that lucky.
Inheriting property always seems like a good deal, especially for a well-educated family who wants to escape city life for a while. What could be more ideal than a large family home on the edge of a small Spanish country village filled with simple folk who like going to church and keeping old world customs. Property values are effected by three things however, location, foundation and curses.
What is it about female vampires that consistently earn them a stake through the heart on THE VAMPIRE DIARIES? It’s almost as though the show is attempting to (or maybe unconsciously?) make a statement about women and power... Either way, it appears that THE VAMPIRE DIARIES is hell bent on offering audiences these wonderfully colorful characters for the sole purpose of ripping them away from us in less than an episode or two. 
To answer the most obvious question right away: No, sadly, Richard Kelly’s THE BOX is not a return to the absorbingly strange glories of his knockout debut feature DONNIE DARKO. But nor is it as frustratingly out of control as his follow-up film SOUTHLAND TALES either. In fact, it’s kind of a combination of both: opening and closing reels of compelling and dark personal drama surrounding more expansive, elaborate plotting that loses its grip.
The trick to making a successful vérité horror film, especially in this post-BLAIR WITCH age of audience skepticism, is not forcing the issue that the events on screen are real. The makers of THE FOURTH KIND have geared their campaign toward encouraging viewers to make up their own minds, but the more the movie itself insists—frequently and blatantly—that it’s authentic, the harder it is to buy any of it, undercutting a number of genuinely creepy sequences.
NOTE: This review does contain minor SPOILERS
Back in August 1986, two horror movies debuted on the same Friday in New York-area theaters. The film that got more publicity, and that most of the genre fans I knew wanted to see, was THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2. But one pal and I were more interested in checking out the one that promised a “Free Creep Prevention Mask” to the first patrons on opening night.
THE FOURTH KIND is an incredibly unsatisfying alien abduction movie. Unsatisfying because it has neither an alien or an abduction!
“This is what you want…this is what you get…this is what you want…this is what you get…” Public Image Ltd. chants under the end credits of Richard Stanley’s HARDWARE. If what you’ve been wanting for the last decade is a worthy disc release of the 1990 sci-fi shocker, what you get from Severin Films’ recently issued two-DVD set and Blu-ray is everything you could imagine, and a few things you probably couldn’t.
The Australian-made SLAUGHTERED is the sort of movie that shouldn’t get overlooked in the current resurgence of slasher films, which includes all the franchise remakes/reimaginings like HALLOWEEN/FRIDAY THE 13TH, new attempts to establish unstoppable killers such as HATCHET and LAID TO REST or its low-budget, comical Aussie contemporary I KNOW HOW MANY RUNS YOU SCORED LAST SUMMER. To put it simply, SLAUGHTERED has been made by someone with more than a clue, and who has been as relentless as any disfigured maniac to get her movie across the finish line without sacrificing the entertainment experience. 
