Everyone Poops. Everyone Uses Math. And now, thanks to writer/illustrator Ken Tanaka, EVERYBODY DIES...

Columns of crudely drawn skulls greet the reader on page one and bid them adieu once again at the end, conjuring up The Catacombs of Paris as if sketched by a kindergartner. A catalog of “diseases that could be killing you right now” are illustrated with grimly primitive care, and in an added dash of pathos we are asked, in colorful magic marker drawings, to confront the sobering notion of losing our family, our house-pets, and even ourselves.

Takaka’s timing could not be better. Thanks to Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortes’ runaway bestseller GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP (not to mention Samuel Jackson’s riveting audio rendition of such), it seems to be high season for children’s books aimed at the parents rather than their offspring. Tanaka’s straightforward, matter-of-fact style is pitch perfect with the pre-pubertal publications it so succinctly mimics. So much so, it would be no surprise to one day discover EVERYBODY DIES accidently shelved in the children’s section of the local bookstore by some distracted staff member.

But here is the rub: It should be there.

The one regrettable attribute of EVERYBODY DIES is that it doesn’t remain resolute in its puerile convictions. By subtitling itself, “A children’s book for grown ups,” Tanaka concedes defeat in not purposing the book to its true intended target-audience: children. While adults will find EVERYBODY DIES funny, there is a missed opportunity here, as kids could learn a fundamental lesson from this book: every living thing must someday die.

Is it too perverse to think that children should be made aware of death as a fundamental cornerstone of life? If EVERYONE POOPS successfully acquainted boys and girls with their bowels back in 2001, then we might as well introduce them to their own eventual demise.

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