“That goalie was pissed about something!”

                                                                        -Freeburg (Kyle Labine)

FREDDY VS JASON was a great nostalgic tribute to Jason Voorhees AND Freddy Krueger (see start of this discussion here). The film transported me back to 1982, effortlessly and very enjoyably. Essentially it was a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET film, with Jason as a special guest, but the Sultan of Slaughter does get several very nice moments and we are given a look at Jason’s dreams as manipulated by Fred Krueger. A nightmare sequence shows Jason dragging bodies to an old dilapidated house, half submerged in a lake (his family home?). Once inside, he tosses bodies in a closet, where they float eerily in the murk. Careful eyes can spot the shrouded form of Michael Myers, Halloween’s masked killer, floating among the bodies.

Finally, we see a nightmare sequence where Jason (as a mongoloid boy) is taunted and ridiculed by the cruel kids at the camp. The kids throw a sack over his head (shades of his appearance in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2) and call him names, “Freak show! Freak show! Freak show!” before pushing him into the lake!!!

Is this how he drowned? Not by counselors who were having sex and not paying attention, but by a cruel mob of fellow campers that fateful day in 1957?  Well, yes and no. Obviously this is a Krueger manipulated dream Jason is having, and the most traumatic moments in his life are all jumbled together. The counselors ARE there and they ARE having sex instead of helping the drowning boy (of course, it’s Krueger as counselor and dead topless corpse as his “partner”).

Truly the best part of the film was that this was Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger as we remembered them. They were exactly the same. I do not want my Freddy and Jason re-imagined and updated…I want (in the immortal words of Joe Bob Briggs) the EXACT same thing every single time, and no plot to get in the way of the story.

Blood flowed, heads rolled (literally) and the crowd I saw it with were screaming and howling and laughing and having the time of their lives. Bravo, Ronny Yu, for doing it the way it should have been done. Bravo for giving us the fight of the century!!   

Fred Kruger: the bastard son of a hundred maniacs, the Dream Stalker, the Master of Nightmares, child killer and intradimensional being…

vs.

Jason Voorhees: The Sultan of Slaughter, the Crystal Lake Killer, the only son of Pamela Voorhees and undead monster.

And so who wins?

I’m actually not going to tell you. If you’ve read the entire UNLUCKY DAYS series, and have not seen FREDDY VS. JASON, I urge you to check it out on DVD or Blu-ray.

My personal experience watching FREDDY VS. JASON was a horror fan’s dream come true. It was a perfect drive-in film, but actually I didn’t see it at a drive-in, at least not officially…not this time.

The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema in Austin, Texas was hosting the world premiere of FREDY VS. JASON at an outdoor campsite with a huge drive-in style screen. My brother, James, was a manager at the Alamo Drafthouse (a wonderful movie events center owned by Tim and Karrie League) and was on hand for most of the creative suggestions and planning for the event. Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, director Yu and producer Sean Cunningham were all guests and yours truly (appearing as television horror host Professor Griffin) made an appearance as well.

The cast of Austin’s Professor Griffin’s Midnight Shadow Show gleefully staged a live presentation of A “FREDDY VS. JASON” PRIMER: KNOW YOUR SLASHERS, a preshow examination of these two giants of the genre and some fun giveaways and prizes for those who claim to be Fred-Heads or Jason-O-Philes.

The crowd (made up of over 1,000 horror fans) was thrilled and delighted! My assistant Usher (Kim Shafer) did a marvelous fire dance for Englund, Dan-Dan (Gilbert Austin) opened the show with dark musings of the film inspired by THE BRADY BUNCH, and I sang a parody song to honor my favorite modern horror character, Jason Voorhees. Shared in part below:

A LETTER FROM CAMP BLOOD

Hello Muddah…Hello Faddah

here I am at Camp Bloodah!

Camp is very…entertaining

But the lake is red from all the killing and maiming…

…and so forth

It was silly, fun stuff. And I loved every over the top minute of it. We had ambiance music all picked out for the world premiere event now called Camp Hacknslash (a name my brother James and I came up with!). In addition to Dokken crooning “Dream Warriors,” we played The Fat Boys “Are You Ready for Freddy?”; DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s “A Nightmare on My Street”; and, of course, Alice Cooper’s “He’s Back-The Man Behind the Mask.” You can’t get much cheesier than that!

So the series came around 360 degrees with Mrs. Voorhees (Paula Shaw this time and not Betsy Palmer) once more getting screen time, even though it’s really the dream demon Fred Krueger, and Jason doing what he does best. 

The trailers for the film showed Freddy and Jason locked in mortal combat, machete blade and finger knives flashing and flying and is punctuated with Freddy asking the very logical question…”Why won’t you die!??”

Jason will never die. As long as fans of the series are around, and there’s money to be made, Jason Voorhees will stalk us in the darkest corners of our fears. 

---

MOVIES/TV - Fearful Features